Don’t get me thinking!
I read this post, Happiness is Being Married to Your Best Friend today and it made me think, especially #2.
A deep and abiding love is not something to make light of, but a rare and treasured gift!
I jokingly said to Dave’s daughter recently that the only reason I was dating him was so that I’d have someone to take care of me in my old age.
This has stuck with me since I said it. Obviously, I was joking, it was said in a joking manner and I even said, I’m only kidding, but who’s to know if she took it that way? Why does it bother me? These little details are the ones that cause me the most grief.
Gah. Sometimes I think I’m not meant to be in a relationship. Sometimes I think it’s easier to be alone.
What say you?
Posted in it's all about me | 10 Comments
May 19th, 2011 at 10:21 am
I think you have finally found someone you think enough about, that a quick remark like that, might actually detract from how you really feel about Dave.
Real love doesn’t happen very often. And when it does, nurture it and don’t push it away.
You deserve this fine man!
May 19th, 2011 at 10:21 am
You could drop her an email and tell her that you love her father very much and are glad to have him in your life.
And then realize it and cherish the love you two have for each other.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I have often said that the only reason I got married was because it was a good excuse for a party.
And back in the day when people would ask if we were going to have children, my standard response was “we have cats”.
Deflection. That’s what you were doing.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:45 pm
I say that this is not the only reason that you are with Dave. Obv. He’s totally foxy. He cooks. There’s two more. But really? What is wrong or negative about saying that you want someone you love to take care of you in your old age? Of course you would. You are human. You were joking about the “only reason” part. Anyone can see that. And the two of you growing old together and caring for each other is a beautiful thought. Give yourself a break. Intimacy is uncomfortable, I know. Go with it anyway. It looks good on you.
Love you.
P.S. The only reason I leave comments here is because I really want Dave to cook steak and corn off the cob in butter for me someday. Heh.
May 19th, 2011 at 12:54 pm
man oh man, Cheri, who doesn’t mince words, hit it right on the head. I AM afraid of intimacy. I’m afraid he’ll make fun of me, reject me, laugh at me behind my back, that he’s only with me not for love but for some other weird reason. Wow, low self esteem raises its ugly head and here I thought it had gone away. Nope. Sigh…
May 19th, 2011 at 12:58 pm
I’m sure she knew you were joking about the ‘only’ reason part. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone with you as you age and I think you may have found the right someone.
May 19th, 2011 at 1:13 pm
That is a great list–though I think it’s okay to go to bed angry now and then; sometimes a good night’s sleep makes everything better and who wants to relive the “hash it all night twenties.” Not me.
That comment is making you think. Thinking is good. Just don’t overthink! Are you both happy? That’s the biggest question.
May 19th, 2011 at 5:51 pm
My husband has said he married me because I could pick up and move my end of the sofa. Obviously this is not the only reason, but it makes me smile.
Since what you said is eating at you now, I agree with Lisa: send his daughter a note and tell her how you feel — that you were making a joke and that it ISN’T the only reason you are with her dad — that you love him very much.
Intimacy fears be damned! This man came to your rescue in an emergency and did it with love and grace. Clearly he isn’t going to be disrespecting you behind your back. Open your arms to love — your heart and his are already there.
May 22nd, 2011 at 8:46 pm
Probably completely normal to have these thoughts after being on your own for a while… but it is amazing when you find that right person. I still find myself questioning it after almost 14 years (and remember, we’re not married yet.) Nothing wrong with wanting someone to take care of you in your old age…
So great that you found each other. xoxo
June 1st, 2011 at 12:33 am
I just think it means you are human. We all make those kind of off-hand remarks that may be complete jokes or may contain traces of our own insecurities, etc. And sometimes those remarks hurt people. Other times we blow them out of proportion. You are as deserving of good relationships as the rest of us, and the fact that this remark bothered you is an indication that you are mature enough to actually make a relationship work!