Remembering Dad…
What I Know About My Father: Dad was born in San Francisco, the only child of Matilda and her soon to be ex-husband, Walter. Grandma and Dad drove back to MA when Dad was 2 (in a Model T!). He loved swimming and the ocean and spent much time in his family’s beloved Green Harbor summer home. He loved singing and was a member of the choir at the Allston Congregational Church and then the First Congregational Church in the town I grew up in. Dad started off as a baker, and then got a job at Raytheon. On his drive to work, he passed this little red house…and he really liked it. One day it had a “For Sale” sign on it…and he knew then and there it was where he wanted to live. Mom was worried there’d be nothing to do, having grown up a city girl. She needn’t have worried…they became very involved in church where Dad became a Deacon and later became involved in the Christus Committee which put on plays. For a quiet man, he sure loved to be on stage!
Every summer, we spent a week or two with the family of Dad’s first cousin, Rosa. We also spent Thanksgivings with them, and usually got together for Christmas. Rosa’s Mom and Dad’s Mom were sisters, and the Thanksgiving table would grown with Rosa’s, her brother Bob’s and Dad’s families. In the summer, Dad would be the one to take us kids to the beach, where he’d teach us to swim and then let us climb up on his shoulders and jump off. We knew we were safe swimming out to the raft if Dad was watching. There was nothing Dad loved more than his family. He didn’t really have friends of his own…any friends he had were friends that Mom had made; she was the outgoing, social one.
Mom and Dad traveled a lot after they retired…driving cross country and even coming to visit me in Japan (Dad was the hit of the karaoke bar when he belted out a Sinatra song…everyone’s mouth was hanging open and they all said…omg he sounds just as good as Frank!).
Dad visited Mom every single day whenever she was hospitalized and when she went to live in the nursing home; I know he was glad to have me around the house (even when I yelled at him because, man, I have a temper on me) and I was glad to be there for him.
He was hospitalized on November 23, 2008 and passed away quietly and peacefully around 11:45 pm on December 31, 2008. He wasn’t alone when he died; a nurse had gone in to change his pain medication patch and he passed while she was with him. For that I’m glad.
I’ll miss you Dad, and so will Max…he kind of wanders around the house sometimes as if he’s wondering where you’ve gone to.
Be at peace…and say hi to Mom, Grandma & Nana for me, k?
Posted in family | 83 Comments
January 1st, 2009 at 3:16 am
Beautiful post.
Hugs
January 1st, 2009 at 3:28 am
I’m so sorry Janet. Your father must be up there smiling broadly as he reads this beautiful tribute to a father you loved very much.
Be gentle with yourself my dear friend.
January 1st, 2009 at 4:23 am
Janet–I’m so sorry. What a wonderful reflection of the dignified life of a true family man.
January 1st, 2009 at 5:44 am
Beautiful post, Janet. I’m so sorry for your loss, but glad that he left peacefully. Give Wolf and Max a big hug and take care of yourself. Will be thinking of you.
January 1st, 2009 at 6:05 am
I am sorry to hear of your loss – my heart goes out to you ***hugs***
What a wonderful memorial for your father – i am sure he is tickled pink to see what you said about him
January 1st, 2009 at 8:45 am
Oh janet…this was beautiful…what an incredible way to remember your father. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
When my father passed away 2 years ago, someone told me something that just made me smile….Look at someone’s passing as if he is on a boat. As he leaves the shore here, we are sad that they are leaving and have a hard time imagining life without them…and yet…as the boat sails to the next shore, there are people waiting for him..and there is singing and laughter and happiness. Your Mom, Grandma and Nana have been waiting for him.
{{hugs}} to you my friend.
January 1st, 2009 at 8:49 am
That was such a beautiful post about your dad. I’m thiking of you and your family. You know I am there for you for anything, I’m just a phone call away. Love you!
January 1st, 2009 at 8:54 am
This is an amazing post, Janet. Thank you for sharing it and him with us. Peace to you in 2009. (hug)
January 1st, 2009 at 9:15 am
He really was all that and more. I have so many beautiful memories of him that I will cherish all the days of my life. *sob* He was the one adult when we were growing up that always had time for us kids and never made us feel stupid or worthless. And when we felt frustrated he would gently try to help us along, whether it was swimming, diving, bowling or just about anything else.
And we sure gave him plenty of father of the bride duties, didn’t we? So glad he walked me down the isle when I married Hubby.
Let me know what’s happening with services. And just call me anyway. I’m here.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
January 1st, 2009 at 9:23 am
What beautiful words about your dad. I am sure he would be touched. I enjoyed spending time with your dad – he always had such a fantastic sense of humor. I feel very glad to have known him. I am sure he was already celebrating with Betty at midnight. I am here for you whatever you need. Please keep me posted on the services.
Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time and space you need. Love M.
January 1st, 2009 at 10:34 am
Read this a few hours ago, but couldn’t even write anything then. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please let me know what the arrangements are and what I can do to help.
You’re Dad was a one of the best! He’ll always be in my heart! Love and hugs!
January 1st, 2009 at 11:20 am
I’m so sorry Janet. Your Dad was a great man, and I’m glad you wrote such nice things about him. I feel like I know so much more about him now. I’m glad you were here with me last night when you got the news and I’m here for you for anything and everything! Love you!
January 1st, 2009 at 11:25 am
Oh, Janet. I’m so sorry. You wrote a beautiful tribute to him. *hugs*
January 1st, 2009 at 11:25 am
A very nice tribute to your Dad – my thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need anything, please call.
January 1st, 2009 at 11:32 am
Beautiful. I’m sure he’s thrilled with this. I hope that you are taking good care of yourself throughout all of this, Janet.
January 1st, 2009 at 11:59 am
You’ve really given us such a wonderful picture of your dad. Even though I never met him, I can ‘feel’ him. Beautifully done, my dear. You honor him well.
I can’t imagine driving across country in a model T. What a trip that must have been! I think the story about your dad singing Karaoke in Japan is my favorite. That’s having a joie de vivre!
Love the picture of him with the dogs.
xo
January 1st, 2009 at 12:32 pm
your memories moved me so much … it’s obvious the world was a better place simply because he was here.
will be holding thoughts of you and the fam very near my heart.
January 1st, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I am very sorry for your loss.
He really sounds like a terrific man. You were lucky to have such a great father – and he was lucky to have you as his daughter.
January 1st, 2009 at 12:52 pm
With tears in my eyes, I say even though he didn’t have friends I’m glad he had family, that red house, and the ability to perform every once in a while. xo
January 1st, 2009 at 1:06 pm
You’ve shared so much of your dad with us even before this post that I feel like we’ve all lost someone special and who clearly meant a lot to you. I’m picturing your dad’s visit to Japan and remembering when my dad came to visit and smiling. I am glad that you got to be as close as you did, that you’ve been there for him, and I’m sure he appreciated it, too. Please be gentle with you, ok? Even if I don’t say it every day, I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts for the next long time. My heart hurts for you, and now I need to wipe these tears off my cheeks. Hugs.
January 1st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Oh, Janet. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for this beautiful post. It’s a lovely tribute to your dad.
I’m sending you handfuls of light.
January 1st, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Sounds like your Dad had a beautiful soul. This post made me tear up.
Hugs.
January 1st, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Wow, what an incredible post. I am sorry for your loss but it is wonderful that at a time like this you can show appreciation for being blessed with such a man in your life.
January 1st, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Janet, I am so sorry!!! This is a beautiful tribute to a life well lived. You honor him……If there is anything I can do……………
January 1st, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Your dad was so fortunate to have you for a daughter. What a beautiful post! I love the picture of him with a dog on each side.
January 1st, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Janet, I’m so sorry. My heart aches for you. Your post is a beautiful tribute to your father. You know he has got to be smiling ear to ear.
January 1st, 2009 at 3:48 pm
My sincere condolence to you and your family Janet. I enjoyed reading your post that included your dad, you spoke so lovingly about him… {Sending warm thoughts your way}
January 1st, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Such a beautiful post Janet. My sincerest condolences to you and your family. May your dad rest in peace.
January 1st, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Janet, I am so sorry for your loss, but i know it also eases the pain of having to see a vibrant person the way you have. My gran died on 12/31 as well and I find it a fitting date for an ending to a well lived life and a beginning of a long deserved rest.
Such a lovely tribute to a life well lived.
jo
January 1st, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Janet, my thoughts are with you as you enter this new part of your life. I didn’t know your dad, but your tribute to him made me feel as if I did & brought tears to my eyes. Peace be with you. *hugs*
January 1st, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Like everyone else, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I am glad that he had a peaceful passing. There is little more beautiful than a man devoted to his family. You are so lucky to have such memories. xxooxxoo
January 1st, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Oh no! Hugs to you….
January 1st, 2009 at 8:34 pm
I am so sorry for your loss J! I loved what you wrote. May you find peace in all of these wonderful memories of the life your father built and lived.
We love you!
January 1st, 2009 at 9:20 pm
I’m so sorry. Thanks again for sharing your memories and images of your father-he sounds like a wonderful man. You have my heartfelt sympathy.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:25 pm
A wonderful tribute, Janet. My sincere sympathies….may peace be in your heart.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Janet. I am so sorry for your loss! This is a beautiful post.
I wish I was closer to give you hugs and a shoulder.
January 1st, 2009 at 10:10 pm
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
My father worked at Raytheon for a short time in the late 1960’s…
January 1st, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I’m sorry to read this, I hope he and you are at peace.
January 1st, 2009 at 11:21 pm
I’m glad you can recall so many wonderful things about someone who means so much to you. I’m glad he wasn’t alone when he passed.
January 1st, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Your father sounds like quite the wonderful human–what a testament to his love for you and your family and life that you could write down such great memories of his personaility and the things he did.
I am sorry to learn about his passing, Janet.
January 1st, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Oh Janet, my heart goes out to you.
My mother passed away 5 years ago on December 19 and you could see the light go out in my father, he was never the same after she passed away. He died two years latter of a broken heart. They were married 66 years
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:03 am
i am sure my daddy was up there, in his Marine Corps Dress Blue uniform to greet your dad and show him in…
much love and sympathy in your loss.
gypsy
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:44 am
Janet, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your post is absolutely beautiful- a heartfelt, dignified, loving tribute to a father who sounds truly special. I, too, feel as if I knew him from reading your post; I hope your wonderful memories will bring you comfort in the days to come.
Sending you special love and prayers, Janet. Be kind to yourself and know that we are thinking of you x
Bella
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:46 am
Janet,
This is such a beautiful tribute. I can just feel what a wonderful man was your father. Easy to see that knowing you anyway, but here you tell it so well.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
XOXO
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 am
[...] “I just wanted to let you all know Dad passed away peacefully in his sleep at 11:45 last night…I like to think Mom was saying to him, “Would you please hurry up?! The ice in my gin and tonic is melting, you’re slow as molasses.” Now they’re together. And I miss them both. If you’d like to read a bit more about Dad, I wrote a bit about him on my other blog. [...]
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:52 am
i’m so sorry, hon.
hugs. many many hugs.
January 2nd, 2009 at 4:19 am
What a beautiful tribute to your dad. I know you will miss him.
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:08 am
awww. bittersweet. my prayers are with you.
January 2nd, 2009 at 6:17 am
All my thoughts are with you ! You dad had a beautiful life and I’m sure he is starting a new exciting one where he is now. Many hugs.
January 2nd, 2009 at 7:07 am
I am very and truly sorry about your loss, Janet. The blogosphere touches our hearts…and sometimes leaves us with teary eyes.
Hugs to you.
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:34 am
[...] at Fond of Snape lost her dear father. Filed Under: week in review by Leora on January 2, [...]
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:51 am
So very sorry to hear… sending loads of good vibes & hugs your way. Beautiful tribute.
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:05 am
What a lovely post, Janet.
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:19 am
Janet. There’s not much to be said when a loved one passed away. So just feel hugged.
Your post is beautiful.
I’m sure that your Dad and your mom is with you all the time. My mum died in 1998 at the age of 53. And I know she’s still at my side.
Big hugs,
Sonny
a.k.a Just me
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
This was a lovely tribute…actually gave me chills. You can see the kind of person he was just by looking at the great pics in the photo montage. And altho i’m sorry for your loss, how lovely that he was there at midnight to kiss your mom on New Year’s eve.
Send hugs your way…
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:55 am
Sending you lots of love and prayers.
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Janet, I’m so sorry about your Dad. What a beautiful tribute to him. My thoughts are with you and your family.
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I am sorry for your loss.
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
i am so sorry about your dad. Your tribute to him was so poignant. Thank-you for sharing him with us. December 28th marked the 5th year anniversary of my dad’s passing.
I have been enjoying your fill-ins around the internet for awhile.
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
OMG, Janet. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I had no idea things had turned down this path, as I have been off-line a few days, battling my own health demons. Your remembrance and tribute is poignant, enriching and simply beautiful. I am sending my love, and prayers across the miles….
January 2nd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
So sorry to hear this news. *hugs*
Sounds like your Dad was a good guy and this was a wonderful tribute to him.
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Sounds like a special guy. I’m sure he’ll be missed.
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Dear,
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to login after loosing a person who watched every step u look in this world…peace be with the beautiful soul that your father was…((hugs)) if he read this beautiful tribute he will be proud to know that his lil girl grew up to be a bold and courageous woman who is strong to handle everything life throws at her….take care of yourself!
January 2nd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Sending you my deepest sympathy and warmest thoughts.
Your tribute to your father is lovong and touching
January 2nd, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your dad- I know from your posts how much you loved him (& your mom) I am also sorry that it took me so long to come by- I didn’t get online at all yesterday for my children’s sake- I spent the day focused on them.
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Janet, I am so, so sorry. May he be at peace, and may you have some peace of mind, as well.
January 2nd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
What a beautiful tribute to your dad. My prayers are with you and your family.
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
What a beautiful post! I am so sorry for your loss. I’ll be sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
Peace!
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Oh, Janet… you’re not alone; my best friend lost her dad on New Year’s Day. I’m hurting for both of you right now.
My condolences to you. Holler if you need anything.
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
This is my first time participating in your Friday Fill In.
I am so very, very sorry for your loss.
May God bless and comfort you and your family.
Sincerely,
Karen Bastille
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Am so touched with your story bringing tears to my eyes. My family extends our sincere condolences to you Janet and your family. Our consolation at this time is that we know he is on a new journey in another phase of life with your mom with him. Be strong and take comfort in all your friends here. You are in our prayers. God bless you and may the new year bring you peace in your heart and mind in a new chapter of your life.
January 2nd, 2009 at 11:51 pm
I am so so sorry for your loss, Janet. I know what it’s like to know that a loved one has finally reached a long-earned peace…but that doesn’t make it hurt less to say goodbye. Thinking of you, and wishing you peace & comfort.
January 3rd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I recently came across your Friday Fill-In site, then this one. I’m so sorry for your Dad’s passing. I’ve been there. Peace to you and your family.
January 3rd, 2009 at 4:47 pm
that’s a beautiful tribute. it sounds like he led a wonderful, full life and was very much loved. i’m sorry for the pain you must be in.
hugs!
January 3rd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I am so sorry about your father, Janet. I know what a blow this is to you. You, and he, remain in my thoughts and prayers. I’m glad his passing was peacefull for you. I hope the mourning is as peaceful.
January 3rd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Oh, Janet, I only just learned of your dad’s passing by reading another blog. I am so sorry. He sounds like he was a wonderful father. I’m glad to hear he wasn’t alone. I’ll be thinking of you and your family.
January 4th, 2009 at 2:03 am
I wish peace and good memories for you.
January 4th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and comfort!
Blessings
January 4th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
That was very sweet and touching…
Peace to you…
January 4th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Janet,
Thank you for sharing your father’s life – and death – with us. I wish you much comfort and peace. I will think of you and your father every time I hear Frank Sinatra sing!
January 4th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Oh Janet….I was without internet for a few days and came back to this. I’m so sorry for your loss. I bet your mom and dad are happy to be together again. Let me know if you need anything…
January 8th, 2009 at 1:19 am
What a beautiful tribute to a life well lived.
My condolences for your loss.
January 11th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
What here written is a fabulouse tribute to your father.
And, it’s really many similarities between our fathers – in spite of it’s a “pond” between.
Only one thing different: My Father got fed up with Christanity, due to some extreme sects where he grew up in a small town.
After all: My Father, and both his parents and my Son, they rest in peace in the same Graveyard.
Which will be my last place on Planet Earth as well.
In a way, I hope that will be many years from now.
On the other hand: Family Peace – for ever