I got home from lunch and saw some dog poo on the back steps. Steeling myself, I went in the house. Dad said, “I think I got some poo on my shoes.” I asked, “Did you walk into the house with the shoes on?” Of course he did. How did he get poo on his shoes? He walked out in the back yard to fill the bird feeder. The back yard is where the dog run is. I haven’t been out there to pick up the poo in
months awhile, so really, I guess it’s my fault.
But…I blew up anyway: WHY did you walk THROUGH the house if you thought you had
shit poo on your shoes? JESUS CHRIST! Do NOT walk in the back yard when you KNOW there is shit poo there. What the hell are you THINKING??? I WILL FEED THE EFFING BIRDS! And on and on and on. It’s like a switch just goes off in my brain and I GET.SO.MAD. It’d be one thing if we never had this conversation, but we’d had it time and again.
So, the answer, of course, is for me to pick up the poo as soon as it comes out the dog’s ass and get rid of it. Because Dad isn’t going to change. Dad is probably going to just get worse and worse.
Let’s not even get started on his overfeeding of the dogs. Yeah, I just love living here for free, I’m having the motherfucking time of my life. Woooeffinghoo.
What is the sexiest part of the body? That would depend on whose body it is On the person I think is the most sexiest in real life (i.e., not Captain Jack Sparrow or Snape), it would be his lips.
If you kissed a frog, who would you like it to turn into? See above. Well, wait…yeah, him, but with none of his annoying idiosyncrasies, please.
What do you have stuck up on your refrigerator right now? OMG thank you for reminding me! I was going to take off ALL the magnets and post RULES like 1. DON’T FEED THE DOGS; 2. DON’T WALK THROUGH SHIT; 3. DON’T FEED THE DOGS! 4. DID YOU REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR PILLS BEFORE YOU WENT TO BED?; 5. DON’T FEED THE DOGS!
But right now? TONS of magnets.