Recently, Dave and I have been going to the same Chinese place for, of all things, their  sushi bar.  It’s one of those all-you-can-eat buffet places, and at first my sushi snobbishness got in the way.  But last Thursday (usually we go on Fridays, but we were going to a concert that day) I finally gave it a chance, and oh boy!  The sushi chef made me some salmon and tuna nigiri to order and it was as fresh and delicious as the nigiri I’d gotten at Whole Foods during the week…and way less expensive.
 
Friday night, Dave and I met Andrea and Bill at Bull Run in Shirley to see the still amazing Johnny Winter.  If you go see him…BRING EAR PLUGS!  Cause, apparently…JOHNNY LIKES IT LOUD!  SO loud, in fact, that to me it sounded distorted.  So I stuck my fingers in my ears…lo and behold, I could hear him sing and play clearly!   That night was pretty foggy and on the way there, I almost hit a cat that decided to do a U-turn in the road.  I was a bit stressed when I got there, and without me saying it, Andrea noticed and just gave me a hug.  It helped!
 
This weekend, we were supposed to watch Dave’s grandsons, but because the younger one was sick, Dave went over there by himself since we didn’t want me exposed to more germs and getting sick again.  So Saturday, Wolf and I took a ride to the beach!  It was a warm-ish (for here) day.  Wolf loved it!  Every time he sees a mussel shell, he tries to bury it in the sand.  Dig, dig, dig, I tell him!  I stopped for a slice of pizza afterwards and parked nearby where the old Frolics used to be.  Many many memories of concerts at that place in my 20s.  I also cleaned the condo, vacuumed and hand washed the floors and did some rearranging.
 
Sunday, I was going to clean and organize more, but … the best of intentions and all that.  I rented the movie, The Help and enjoyed the heck out of it.  Made some buttermilk and cornmeal waffles and buttermilk chicken for dinner.  Both were delicious!  Click on the link for the recipe, if you’re so inclined.  I also made a big pot of 15 bean soup, which I ladled into pint mason jars for my lunch next week (and extra to share with a friend at work who likes my cooking). 
 
And that was about it!
 
How was your weekend?
 

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my Dad’s memorial service. At the time, I wasn’t able to give a eulogy…I think my brother was a bit disappointed in me for that. He’d spoken at Mom’s service 3 years early, but he’s used to speaking in front of a crowd of people. I am not. Adding the stress of getting up to talk about my Dad to the sadness I felt was too much for me. My brother and our cousins, Maribeth & Melodie, got up and spoke and did it beautifully for which I am grateful.

What would I have said? I would’ve said something like this:

My father, George Daniell Spering, is gone from this earth, has been gone, in fact, since 15 minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve. It seems strange to me that he is no longer here. The physical body, I mean. His spirit is still here, the love he gave to me, to my brother, my cousins, his cousin Rosa, to other family members and friends that meant so much to him, is still here. His spirit has become part of our hearts, our memories, part of OUR spirit now.

His physical body had been failing him in the last year. He had Parkinson’s, he who jogged, rode his bike, swam when he could, walked, did his stretching exercises every morning. He who didn’t smoke, or drink or eat to excess. Somehow seems unfair, doesn’t it? We never know what is waiting for us, what God has in store for us. We have faith that things will go on as they do, day after day, month after month, year after year, until those days run out.

Dad was trapped in his failing body for a little over a month before he passed away. He said to me one day, while he was hooked up to tubes, his skin punctured with needles, he said to me when he could barely speak anymore: “Please get me out of here.” He barely could whisper, I had to lean my ear down to his mouth. I felt so guilty. What did he mean? Get him out of the hospital? Get him out of his failing body? Neither of those things could I do. Until my brother and I agree to start hospice care, when we both realized he’d never get out of the hospital, not come home, not to a rehab. The body he took such good care of was failing beyond any medical help. Hospice care was how I could get him out of there. And the day we started hospice care, he was finally freed of the body and went to be with his Mom, probably his father, Susan, the daughter he and my Mother had before me who was stillborn, his grandparents whom he spent a lot of time with and loved very much and many other beloved family members…and Cocoa and Bruno, the family dogs he loved.

Dad did a lot for me (Mom, too). They helped me mentally, physically, financially, even when I was well into adulthood. No matter what, they were there for me (especially when I didn’t deserve it, which was many, many times). Dad loved me unconditionally. Even when I borrowed his car and forgot to pick him up from work, even when I didn’t come home when I was supposed to, even when I ran away from home for a few days in my teens, even when I antagonized my mother. No matter what, that love never went away.

When I was a year or so out of high school, living on a bus with my boyfriend, depressed and negative, Dad wrote me a note. I don’t know how I felt when I originally read that note, but after all these years, reading it now? It says it all. He wrote:

Dear Janet,

I would like to try and let you know my feelings about you. Not how I feel about this or that problem or action but how I feel about you.

I feel love for you, a tender warm feeling of love for you are my daughter. And I feel sadness because of how close we were when you were younger. I felt happy for you about your graduation from high school . When you are unhappy I feel unhappy too and wish I could help you. I don’t feel good when you are hurt.

I feel hope that someday you will feel free to write or talk to me as person to person or better yet as grown up daughter to father.

Love, “Dad”
Dad, I know you love me, you showed it often. You did little things to make me laugh, wrote me notes & cards & drew pictures, you welcomed me home with open arms when I’d been away, and when I lived in Japan you and Mom sent me care packages, not monthly but usually once a week! Dad, I miss seeing you…but your words and actions and spirit are in my heart and mind for as long as I’m able to think. I love you and I hope you and Mom are happy and at peace.

Even though Dave doesn’t read my blog, I want to thank him for encouraging me to do this. I love him with all my heart. In fact, he reminds me a lot of Dad…he had a big heart and kind soul, too.

I logged into Flickr today and was saddened to read that their photo editing companion, Picnik, is closing in April. Until that day, all their premium options are free, so I created a goodbye Picnik shot:

Goodbye, Picnik, we’ll miss you much!

On to more happier news…I am overjoyed to tell you all I have finally found a way to incorporate bananas into my diet.  I KNOW bananas are good for you (in moderation, of course), I know they have potassium (which will help with the leg cramps (hah, I wrote ‘gramps’) I’ve been having lately), and I know they’re filling.  The problem is and has been…I HATE the texture!  BLECH!  Since I do like bananas in banana bread, I knew when I saw this recipe I’d like it.  Healthy…good fats…good protein.  YAY!!!
 
So I whipped up a double batch this morning (optimist that I am;  no, really, I just had a cup of almond milk to use up before it expired) and had some for breakfast, adding a teaspoon of peanut butter (Teddie) and a sprinkle of chia seeds.  She’s right, is it like oatmeal, and delicious.
 
You can see the recipe here. Don’t be put off by the addition of egg whites.  Really…this stuff is yummy!
 
See!  Blog reading is good for your health

Dave played his guitar:

I baked cake and bread (had a container of buttermilk to use up):

Wolf begged for a piece of kettle corn the wonderful, fantastic Sherilee sent us:

Thank you so much Sherilee!!!

Then Wolf and I took a long walk in the woods, I did a bit of food shopping, Dave made an amazing seafood stew and I met Michelle at the mall and we had dinner at B. Fresh. Now I’m back home, watching Lilies of the Field, relaxing and enjoying life.

What are you up to?

These last few days have been filled with coughing and high temps and body aches (also spicy shrimp and lobster, but that was the day I was so sick I ached and slept all day and had no appetite, damn Dave). But! The bright side is I’m starting to feel better. And even better, I had what was supposed to be a 6 month check up mammogram (ended up being more like 9, but oh well) and that was clear! So yay to resolved (knock on wood) health issues.

We got a bit of snow last night, just enough to look purty, and we’ll get a little more tonight or tomorrow. Still ok. Still not too much. Wolf adores the snow. Max, well, not so much, with his getting-around issues. I did find a resting place for him, once his time in this realm is over. This was something that was kind of bothering me. I didn’t want him just cremated and then when I pass, tossed in a dumpster somewhere. I wanted a final resting place for him…and Pat, my best friend from high school (many, many years ago) set my heart at ease. The email exchange was adorable. Here, read:

me: “I have a weird ? to ask you…when Max passes, could I bury him way back in your yard?”

Pat: “of course, i have my cat, chicken and bunny down by the river he would be welcome . how is he doing?”

me: “Thank you SO much!!! He’s mentally there, but losing the strength in his hind legs and also his hearing”

Pat: “my goodness he will be in a good place. the stream babbles and the sun speckles through the trees. i go down there all the time to talk to my dad. i say hi to all while im there”

What a friend!!! Love her!