Got to be to work by nine
And if I had an air-o-plane
I still couldn’t make it on time
Just another Manic Monday…

Do you have any idiosyncrasies or unusual quirks when it comes to food and/or eating? Not really…other than not liking green mint ice cream (has to be white) … probably the most unusual quirk is that I’ll try anything once! Well, ALMOST anything…chocolate covered spiders, not so much.

Have you ever written love letters? Of course! If so, do you still have any of them? No, I sent them! I do have some that were sent to me, tho.

How easy or difficult is it for you to say you’re sorry? It depends on how wrong I was. If I was totally in the wrong, and it’s completely obvious, then it’s easier. If it’s a misunderstanding on both sides and the other one doesn’t apologize? Then it’s very difficult for me…I’m a bit stubborn, you know

Wanted to share a photo I took this morning; it made me laugh:

The only thing(s) scarier than The Joker…

Well, I made it through the weekend. My friends have been awesome, taking me out to lunch or dinner or the movies, bringing food over, calling to make sure I’m ok, sending emails, even just hanging out. I don’t have any family in the immediate area so I’m very glad for friends, although my cousins have been great at sending emails and talking on Facebook. Today the new minister at the church my parents went to for many years brought over a tray of macaroni & cheese…yum! So sweet of her and I’ve never even met her yet (I was out with a friend when she called to ask if she could bring it over). I ended up taking a bereavement day on Friday, even though I totally thought I had the day off. My boss had called to express her condolences and as we were talking she said, well, I’m on the way in now so I’ll see you in a bit. I replied…um…I thought we had today off? She just laughed…I’m scatterbrained lately.

So many times I’ve thought of Dad…how he loved peppermint and how the ocean will always remind me of him and how he was so kind and loving to Max and Wolf (and any other pet I ever brought home). In fact, I think I’m going to say in his obituary that in lieu of flowers, please make a donation to Buddy Dog Humane Society, since it’s where I got Max. I laughed when I was going through Dad’s bureau and found jogging shorts from the 1970s (so short lol); I smiled when I found his old pipe stand, which was in the shape of a fish. I loved the smell of pipe tobacco and I sniffed the stand to see if it had a smell to it still after all these years. So many memories, and all of them good. I’ve thought…who will kill spiders for me now? Who will I go to Parker’s Maple Barn with? Who will love me no matter what? Certainly, I can be a difficult person to like, never mind love, but he was able to do it.

I spent a long time yesterday calling folks to let them know of Dad’s passing. While it was hard to say the same things over and over, I loved hearing the stories folks would tell me about him (and Mom). One of the people I called, when I told her that I could almost hear Mom saying, “C’mon, Danny, hurry up, the ice in my gin & tonic is melting, get a move on, it’s almost the New Year.“, she laughed and then told me a story about how a bunch of friends (Mom included) were sitting around a picnic table talking about what they’d have on their gravestones. Mom said she didn’t know what she’d have on hers, but on my Dad’s she’d have written, “Hurry up!” (he was always and forever taking his sweet time, she’d say).

Anyway…I just thought I should write something and since this is what’s on my mind…

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend! Do anything fun?

Oh, and my word for 2009 will be “enjoy”. And I have been enjoying things, while at the same time feeling kind of alone and sad and missing Dad.

Here’s Max…and I think he’s missing Dad very much, too.

Wolf absolutely has hope that I will vacate the chair and he can claim it again!

Photohunt, courtesy of TNChick

And…here we go!

1. The world is a little different and a bit diminished without Dad in it.

2. I love you was the last thing I said.

3. I wonder if our souls linger a bit afterward...

4. Who knows where there is for us at the end of all things.

5. There’s something to be said for departing this life quickly, quietly, peacefully and with love.

6. Right here with the dogs and in my comfy fleece jammies is where I want to be.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to seeing my friend, Diane, who I haven’t seen in quite a long time, tomorrow my plans include making more phone calls and Sunday, I want to take the dogs to the beach and kind of commune with nature in a place that was one of my Dad’s favorites!

What I Know About My Father: Dad was born in San Francisco, the only child of Matilda and her soon to be ex-husband, Walter. Grandma and Dad drove back to MA when Dad was 2 (in a Model T!). He loved swimming and the ocean and spent much time in his family’s beloved Green Harbor summer home. He loved singing and was a member of the choir at the Allston Congregational Church and then the First Congregational Church in the town I grew up in. Dad started off as a baker, and then got a job at Raytheon. On his drive to work, he passed this little red house…and he really liked it. One day it had a “For Sale” sign on it…and he knew then and there it was where he wanted to live. Mom was worried there’d be nothing to do, having grown up a city girl. She needn’t have worried…they became very involved in church where Dad became a Deacon and later became involved in the Christus Committee which put on plays. For a quiet man, he sure loved to be on stage!

Every summer, we spent a week or two with the family of Dad’s first cousin, Rosa. We also spent Thanksgivings with them, and usually got together for Christmas. Rosa’s Mom and Dad’s Mom were sisters, and the Thanksgiving table would grown with Rosa’s, her brother Bob’s and Dad’s families. In the summer, Dad would be the one to take us kids to the beach, where he’d teach us to swim and then let us climb up on his shoulders and jump off. We knew we were safe swimming out to the raft if Dad was watching. There was nothing Dad loved more than his family. He didn’t really have friends of his own…any friends he had were friends that Mom had made; she was the outgoing, social one.

Mom and Dad traveled a lot after they retired…driving cross country and even coming to visit me in Japan (Dad was the hit of the karaoke bar when he belted out a Sinatra song…everyone’s mouth was hanging open and they all said…omg he sounds just as good as Frank!).

Dad visited Mom every single day whenever she was hospitalized and when she went to live in the nursing home; I know he was glad to have me around the house (even when I yelled at him because, man, I have a temper on me) and I was glad to be there for him.

He was hospitalized on November 23, 2008 and passed away quietly and peacefully around 11:45 pm on December 31, 2008. He wasn’t alone when he died; a nurse had gone in to change his pain medication patch and he passed while she was with him. For that I’m glad.

I’ll miss you Dad, and so will Max…he kind of wanders around the house sometimes as if he’s wondering where you’ve gone to.

Be at peace…and say hi to Mom, Grandma & Nana for me, k?